feelings of a sranger

Eto Lang ni Gab Caraon

2010-05-08T23:03:00.001-07:00

Eto Lang
ni Gab Caraon

eto na naman ako
isang bato
isang batong nakahimlay sa dalampasigan
laging nakatingin sa lawak ng dagat
laging nangangarap na balang araw ay marating din
ang mga narating niya
laging umaasang balang araw ay dalhin ako ng alon
sa ibang lugar
at sumabay sa sayaw ng pag-agos ng buhay
eto na naman ako, nangangarap.
pero eto nga ako. isang bato.
mabigat. matigas. hindi makagalaw.
at hindi tulad ng dagat na madaming nagagawa,
ako na isang bato ay hindi man lang kayang lumuha.

poetry. or at least i tried.

2009-08-09T20:27:00.000-07:00

why can't i write poetry
i think there's something wrong with me
i used to write what's in my mind
now just one line i cannot find

for so long i have been trying
to get back how i was in rhyming
but i can't seem to get a grip
the words and phrases i cannot keep

i want to write another line
to keep this sanity of mine
you see there's something bothering me
i share a secret just kept by three

and with this secret comes a choice
to help them out and hear their voice
but if i do i might just end
a new beginning, a life not spent

so there you are, that's my dilemma
if you understood you're very clever
but please i ask you to keep it low
or share with me what you think you know

and if you did not comprehend
this silly message i try to send
at least this problem i now face
my writer's block begins to phase.

insomnia

2008-08-24T11:48:00.000-07:00

8 cigarette butts
that's how much i smoked through this one
sleepless night

around 6 times
that's how often i looked at my phone
whenever it lights up
thinking that it's you
but it ain't, it's just my phone
saying that its battery's low

about 4 hours ago
i woke up, and i texted you that i cannot
go back to sleep for some reason

a little over 3 months
that's how long I've known you
that's how long you've been making me happy

around 2 and a half years ago
i think that's how long I've written my last poem
so forgive me if this one ain't that good

undefined number. maybe infinity
that's how often i think of you
only you

and just two things
two things will make my day swell
and that's
3in1 and you

2006-07-30T16:30:00.000-07:00

DAPAT SANA
ni gab caraon

lumisan sakin ang pagsikat
iniwanan ako sa dapit-hapon..

nagkamali ako
hindi dapat ito pinipilit
hindi dapat sinasakal

hindi sapat na makitang
masaya ang mga kulay na kanyang hatid

kulay kahel at asul
dapat tinamasa't pinasalamatan

ngayo'y kapiling ang dapit hapon
sa kabilang dako and araw

umiiyak sa piling ng ibang dalampasigan

picture care of mingu

2006-06-12T22:27:00.000-07:00

tagal ng pinag-samahan
wag na wag kakalimutan
kahit hindi palaging makasama
tandaan nyong ako'y narito pa

sa tabi-tabi..

2006-06-08T22:58:00.000-07:00

DI TAMA
by gab caraon

kung ikaw ay mayaman
ako nama'y namayam

ikaw ay mabait
ako'y di makakailang tiabam

napaka-talino mo
ako'y di hamak na onilat

kung ikaw ay nasa taas
tila ako'y pilit na nasa saat

wala kang kasing kisig
ako nama'y tila gisik

ika'y ubod ng tikas
pero ako nama'y tila sakit

kung baga ika'y langit
ako nama'y tignal

kaya siguro hindi
tayo pwede

magkaiba
ang ating pagkaka-intindi

iba ka, iba ako
tila magkabaligtad tayo

ika'y aking mahal
at ako'y iyong laham

at kahit baliktarin ko ang noon
noon parin yon, hindi ngayon.

2006-05-25T21:05:00.000-07:00

ASA
by gab caraon

pumikit.
umasang sa pagdilat ay mawala siya.

matulog.
at umasang sa pag-gising ay mawala ang panaginip.

umiyak.
umasang sa pagtulo ng luha'y sumabay na mawala ang nararamdaman.

punasan mo na yan.
sino bang niloko mo?

tanga tayong lahat sa pag-ibig...

2006-04-18T14:07:00.000-07:00

minsan ako'y pumikit at nakita ko ang akin sarili
pula, itim at puti

sa gitna ng malawak na karagatan,
lulan ng bankang lumalangoy ng nag-iisa.

sa aking mata'y kumikislap
ang liwanag ng kahel na araw
na nakasandal sa pisngi ng dalampasigan,

umiiyak dahil
sa panaginip na mawawaksan

sa pagdating ng buwan.

photo by mingu

2005-09-04T03:55:00.000-07:00

Soapbubbles
a poem by gab caraon

My hands have grown tired
of writing sonnets of my journey.
I am afraid that they won't
regain life again, until theyfelt soapbubbles and rain..

Soapbubbles, how majestic they look!
how graceful they seem to be
while they float amidst the
dust of the wind...

You see every color in them:
red. blue. yellow.
making them more beautiful to the eyes...

I look up to them, watching
them carefully.. I have grown
in love with them...

I watched more closely and
I saw that the soapbubbles were
vanishing.. slowly.. gently..

I wanted them to stay, but
they wouldn't.. I was caught
in surreal melancholy..

One by one they burst into soapy water...
one by one they leave me...

I cried. Soapbubbles caught my
eyes, burning them in pain.
I couldn't help but to shed tears
to ease the pain...

Soapbubbles and rain...

These dead hands of mine
regained their life as I
wipe my tears away...

These dead hands came to life...
but my heart died away...
Soapbubbles and rain...

2005-06-07T23:20:00.000-07:00

BLISS
a poem by gab caraon

Tears I cry unto thy night
Tears of pain, of fury blight!
Pain I cannot bear within
My heavy heart is breaking in.

How my heart burns in the fire
Burning in my pure desire
To end this pain that caused me strife
To spill my blood using a knife

I cannot understand just why
The stars shine not here by my side
I cannot fathom, I cannot see
Why I dwell in misery

Maybe I am cursed with this:
To live in infinite abyss
And tears I cannot help but shed
While I suffer on my bed...

2005-03-28T00:48:00.000-08:00

What If
a poem by gab caraon

What if you found yourself someplace
You've never been before?
Where you thought that you'll never be
Are you ready for what's in store?

What if one day you let yourself
Be seen by a complete stranger
And as he looks at you he smiles
And say, 'Have we met somewhere?'

And after that you go and sit
And talk beside the fire
Then suddenly you feel the warmth,
You're laughing and inspired.

You talk some more, and laugh some more
You feel so good inside you
Oh how you wish for time to stop
And see things all around you.

You know you want to show him more
Your feelings start to grow
But you held back, you chose to hide
And you don’t know why.

Then amidst the hearty laughs
Tears fill your eyes, you cry
You see the stranger say goodbye
Oh how you want to die...

You come back to reality
It was all but a dream
You close your eyes and start to wish
For reality to vanish.

2005-03-28T00:44:00.000-08:00

Two Rivers
a poem by gab caraon

Oh how wicked this world is
It gives you such a wicked kiss
And when you thought that you've found bliss
You'll see there's something that you've missed

And when you've found someone to love
You'll feel you're flying high above
But when two people fill you're heart
Your world will start to fall apart

Oh what to do? Oh what to say?
I feel I'm in this Shakespearean play
Where stars just start to fade away
Will I find peace? No, never, nay!

I think my mind is bursting soon
I've made things worst, I think I'll swoon
In two rivers I took a swim
And now I think I'm drowning...

2005-03-02T05:30:00.000-08:00

Pity
a poem by gab caraon

Oh what a pity, i feel for those
Who walks a life of grief and woes
People of filth, people of soil
Who couldn`t do anything but critic my toil

Oh what a shame you bring to your name
Whenever you play your horrible game
Of pulling down others who are near to the top
You`re such a sham, and please, would you stop?

Oh what a pity, a pity i feel
For you, beloved enemy of the surreal
Step out of the darkness, step out of the murk
And get a life of your own, you filthy little jerk!

2005-03-02T05:17:00.000-08:00

Ghost
a poem by gab caraon

Many times I walk this world
Pretending that I am fine
I grin, I smile, and I even laugh
I know this is a lie...

Deep inside my blissful self
Lies a broken soul
And with it brings the broken soul
A weeping heart of rot.

It yearns to cry for it might die
Of hunger for affection
But I held back, I must not show
These tears caused by rejection.

But still my anguish slowly kills
My faith that love would come
So I put on my masquerade
And continue to feign beatitude.

2005-03-01T05:15:00.000-08:00

Clouds
a poem by gab caraon

Clouds, clouds that covered us
In eternal darkness,
Darkness that engulfed us
And brought us to shame and solidarity,
To pity and disrepute,
To the bottom of the coldest
Corner of the world.
And in that darkness
We kept together,
In the midst of the dark where
We felt that we would never
See a ray of light again.
Keeping close to each other
Seemed to comfort us.
We became as one and
We again saw rays
Of light and more as
The time pass by,
Thinking that the clouds
Would soon evanesce.
But now we realize,
The darkness is eternal
For the weather beats us with hailstorms and fire
Lashing us with cruel lightning,
Bombarding us with thunder
Not knowing that it continually
Scars us and would leave
Us with signs of melancholy
Yes, the clouds are still
Hanging from above,
Still casting shadows
Upon us...

2005-02-28T05:20:00.001-08:00

Love, Just for Fools
a poem by gab caraon

Love is merely just for fools,
A world of make believe.
Where happiness and joy abides
And pain it couldn't give.

Love is merely just for fools,
They think it's all for fun
But deep inside their lonely heart they know
It could tear their world apart.

Love is merely just for fools,
A game they like to play
Submerging in what they call bliss
And taking all the risks.

Love is merely just for fools,
That's all this poem says.
Love is really just for fools,
And I'm a fool, I say...

2005-02-28T05:20:00.000-08:00

Untitled
a poem by gab caraon

I've fallen deeply for you
You tell me such sweet words
You say you love me, and it's true
Today I say, 'me too...'

Not long ago, we're strangers so
We barely knew each one
And friends we were, and friends we've been
We really had such fun.

And then you asked me just one question
A question that made me sway
'Are you willing to take our friendship further?
And in your heart you'll let me stay?'

That really took me by surprise
I thought you wouldn't ask
Cause for so long I felt the same
And now you're mine at last

I put my love and trust in you
I've let you in my heart
And I could only hope and pray
Unbroken that'll stay...

2005-02-28T05:19:00.001-08:00

Hard, cold, plastic!
a poem by gab caraon

When she smiles, I see between
Those pearly whites that flash
And what I saw, you won't believe
Is plastic! Hard and raw!

The plastic works between her veins
It seeps within her heart.
It covers up her face with smile
Concealing all her lies!

We are all naive to what's
Her real thoughts are, her life.
We do not know that when she grins
She stabs us at the back!

And all her teachings, all! Not one
Those that she flushes down our throats,
She doesn't live a single one,
She's a reservoir of deceit.

2005-02-28T05:19:00.000-08:00

An Ode to Love
a poem by gab caraon

To the shadows, I belong
That's where I've been, that's where I've gone
To the darkness, I can sleep
And when I wake, I start to weep
To the abyss, I yearn to seek
To seek the light that I believed
To the shimmer, once I saw
And gave that certain feel of awe
To the memories, once I had
You're in the past; you're free at last
And to the love I thought I felt
Won't you come back before my heart melts?

2005-02-28T05:17:00.001-08:00

Mirror
a poem by gab caraon

Why do you look so sad?
Please, don't be
You look as if
I carry the whole world...

Why such a long face?
Please, don't worry
I don't need your pity, no!
I'll be just fine...

You feel sorry?
Sorry for what?
I don't have any hard
Feelings, why should I?

You think I give an empty smile?
You just think that
Because you look at me
Everyday, but you don’t really see me...

Why are you crying?
Please, do stop
Or somebody would see
Our cheeks al wet...

2005-02-28T05:17:00.000-08:00

Herald Gaculais
a poem by gab caraon

Hark the herald he is here
Ever clever, ever dear
Receives and hears the probs of peers
A worthy job, to lose it he fears
Lover of Helen, best friend of Troy
Divine Comedy, he truly enjoys
Ganelon, a foe he fights to the death
And a place in Paradiso I'm sure he could get
Chivalry's emblem he carries at heart
Under the heart of La Mancha's green grounds
Looks are deceiving; don't judge him that way
An epitomy of stunning, he'll soon make you sway
I blurt out this poem in tribute to him
Sir Knight of Arts and Warrior of God

2005-02-27T02:18:00.000-08:00

Ikaw
a poem by gab caraon

Dugong kumukulo dahil sayo
Masamang salita'y ibibigay sayong ulo!
'wag mo kong hamunin sa asaran
baka umuwi ka ng luhaan.

Pagkatao mo'y mahirap pakisamahan!
Ako'y nagtiis dahil gusto kang
Maging kaibigan.
Ngayon ako'y iyong ginalit mo ng lubusan!
P*nye** ka! 'Di kita tatantanan!

Baguhin mo ang iyong ugali
Umaalingasaw sa baho, amoy pusali!
Gusto kitang punyalin hanggang mamatay
At sa dugo mong madumi ika'y ihimlay.

Kaibigan kitang tinuring noon
Ngayo'y ginago mo't hinamon
'Di mo pa naranasan ang galit kong tinago!
Kaya't Habang maaga pa'y tumigil ka na,
Walang modo!